Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (Ghibli Fan Style)

Synopsis
Timon fast forwards Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me and who wants to let Pumbaa tell his own story within a backstory? Watch the movie and pause the shots to find out!

Airings
June 11, 1999 (Theaters)

November 16, 1999 (Video and DVD)

October 27, 2018 (Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me 1½ and Only in TheBenOyler on YouTube)

Timon and Pumbaa at the Movies: Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
{The video begins with the 20th Century Fox logo. Next comes the Pixar Animation Studios logo.}

Timon: Well, enough of that. {He holds up a remote control and begins fast-forwarding through the movie}

{Camera pulls back to show Timon and Pumbaa in silhouette in a row of theater seats, Mystery Science Theater 3000-style.}

Pumbaa: Uh... Timon, what are you doing?

Timon: I'm fast-forwarding to the part where we come in!

Pumbaa: {aghast} But you can't go out of order!

Timon: Au contraire, my porcine pal. I've got the remote!

Pumbaa: But everyone's gonna get confused! {He grabs a second, bigger remote} We gotta go back to the beginning of the story. {He begins rewinding the movie}

Timon: We're not in the beginning of the story! {He pauses the movie on Vanessa Fembot with a monkey screech; the movie begins fast-forwarding again}

Pumbaa: Yes, we were! The whole time. {rewinds; the film reverses on a shot of Austin's investigation with a squawk of confusion}

Timon: Yeah, but they don't know that! {indicates the audience; switches the movie direction again, on a frozen Austin with a lion-roar sound}

Pumbaa: Then why don't we tell them our story? {A scary close-up of Mini-Me is shown}

Timon/Pumbaa: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! {they duck in their seats}

{They came out slowly and saw a giant image of Mini-Me.}

Timon: {slowly re-emerging} Hey, I got an idea. Why don't we tell him our story?

Pumbaa: Oh, I like the sound of that.

Timon: A little backstage tour. Take 'em behind the scenes for a revealing and intimate look at the story within the story!

Pumbaa: 'Cause what they don't know is how we really were there even though they didn't know we were there, you know?

Timon: Couldn't have said it better myself! {rewinds the movie again}

Pumbaa: So does this mean we're going back to the beginning?

{At that point on, the Pixar Animation Studios logo starts going backwards.}

Timon: {melodramatically} Oh, no, Pumbaa. No. We're going way back... to before the beginning.

When I Was Young...
Timon: Pumbaa, how can this guy be naked? He doesn't wear any clothes!

Pumbaa: Oh, yeah. That's the good reason why guys like to get naked.

Timon: I know, guys can get naked. That's for sure. Where I come from we didn't have nothin' to be proud of. Why: {clears throat; singing} When I was a young nude man...

Pumbaa: {singing} When he was a young NUDE MAN...! {blows Timon off his seatback}

Timon: {peevishly} Very nice.

Pumbaa: Thanks!

Timon: But maybe it'd be safer if I just show 'em where I came from.

Pumbaa: Oh, boy! Do we get to see where you grew up?

Timon: Yeah, Pumbaa. But it ain't pretty. {unclicks the remote} Please remain seated while the camera is in motion.

Pumbaa Sitting on the Remote
{Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me is interrupted by Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Pumbaa is sitting on the remote.}

Timon: Hey, what's going on? Pumbaa, you're sitting on the remote!

Pumbaa: Huh? Oh, sorry. I thought it was a brownie.

No Fortune Cookies
Timon: How convenient. Enter omniscient guy from the cliff right on cue.

Pumbaa: Well, you know what they say. When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

Timon: That's it. No more fortune cookies for you. {clicks the remote; the movie resumes}

Look Fat
Pumbaa: You really think I look fat?

Timon: {sighs} Pumbaa, Pumbaa, Pumbaa. You're a pig! It's a compliment.

Pumbaa: Thank you.

Pumbaa Pauses Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me to Get Some Grubs
Pumbaa: You mind if I pause it for a second?

Timon: Sure, go ahead!

Pumbaa: Be right back. {walks off of his seat leaving Timon alone, but picks his nose and turns back and forth, and puts it on the seat and comes back} Okay, I got the Jumbo so we can share! {notices Timon} Were you just picking your nose?

Timon: No. I had an itch on the inside!

Timon Crying
Pumbaa: Timon, are you crying?

Timon: I'm fine! {sobs} I just have something in my eye!

Pumbaa: Here, blow.

Timon: {blows his nose with his own tissue and hands it} Here, Pumbaa.

Pumbaa: Gee, thanks!

Timon: Okay, I'm better.

Where's the Grub?
Timon: {quietly} Pumbaa... where's the grub?

Pumbaa: Puhh. {opens his mouth; the ladybug staggers out, all mauled up}

Timon: {exasperated} Ohhh. You just can't help yourself, can you?

Pumbaa: Sorry.

Timon: Okay... but this time, show a little self control.

Running
Timon: What was with the running? If you can call that running.

Pumbaa: I was giving you time to catch up!

Timon: You big lug.

Timon and Pumbaa Rewind Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Dr. Evil: It's one thing to attack me. It's quite another to attack my Mini-Me. {glares at the screen} I'm gonna get you, Austin Powers. I'm gonna get you!

{He and Dr. Evil do a schemed laughter as the credits roll.}

Timon: {narrating as the camera continues to truck out, ending with the silhouettes and the theater seats} Well, that's it. The big wrap-up, the happy ending, the grand finale.

Pumbaa: {whimpering} It's over already?

Timon: Well, Pumbaa. That's the thing about endings. They come at the end.

Pumbaa: {brightening} Ooh! Can we watch it again?

Timon: Pumbaa, we just saw it. Maybe tomorrow.

Ma: {entering in silhouette} Hey, what are you guys doing? {gasps as she sees the screen} You didn't tell me you were watching the movie! I wanna watch too!

Timon: Ma, we just finished. Show's over.

Ma: Well, you're just gonna have to rewind it! {grabs Pumbaa's big remote and begins rewinding}

Timon: {pained} Ma!

Ma: {calling offscreen} Uncle Max! We're gonna watch the movie!

Timon: {despairing} Oh, no!

Uncle Max: {entering, carrying a box of popcorn} Hey, I brought extra butter.

Simba: {entering, walking along the seatbacks} Hey, you guys are watching the movie?

Rafiki: {swinging in on vines} Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! Any story worth telling is worth telling twice.

{The silhouette of Mickey Mouse walks in and sits down.}

Timon: What the...

{Snow White comes in, followed by the Dwarfs.}

Snow White: Oh, excuse me...

Happy: 'Scuse me.

Sneezy: 'Scuse me.

Doc: 'Scuse me.

Sleepy: 'Scuse me.

Bashful: 'Scuse me.

Grumpy: Get outta the way.

Timon: Who is this crowd?

{The Genie flies in and sits down in the middle, followed by Aladdin and Jasmine on the flying carpet; Belle, the Beast, Mrs. Potts and Chip, Lady and the Tramp, and the Hippo from "Fantasia" are also seated in this row.}

Timon: Hey, down in front!

{In another row, Goofy, the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and Donald Duck are sitting; Stitch crawls down the wall and jumps from head to head until he gets to a vacant seat.}

Stitch: Oho!

Goofy: Gawrsh!

Stitch: Aloha!

Donald Duck: {unintelligible squawking; he makes fists at Stitch}

{In still another row, Quasimodo and Pocahontas sit at opposite ends of the row; Peter Pan flies in, followed by Tinker Bell, and imitates a rooster's crow. The Lost Boys all pile in, shouting. Switch to Timon's row, where he's holding two large bodies apart to keep them from squashing him.}

Timon: Watch it! {straining} Unnnh!

{Timon's row has Terk, Dumbo, Brer Bear, Mowgli, Baloo, the three gargoyles, and the three fairy godmothers from "Sleeping Beauty"; Terk and Victor the gargoyle squeeze together, and Timon squirts out from between them like a watermelon seed. He lands next to Pumbaa as the movie, still rewinding, nears the beginning.}

Timon: {resigned} Okay, buddy. You win.

Pumbaa: Sure you don't mind?

Timon: {sincere} Yes, Pumbaa. I'm way off track. {stops rewinding to see the 20th Century Fox logo}

Pumbaa: But Timon... {fades to darkness} I still don't do so well in crowds!

Post-Credits Scene
Mustafa: {off set} Hello, out there! Is the movie over?! I'm still down here, and I'm still in quite a lot of pain. Maybe someone in the lobby could call an ambulance. Oh, the pain is really quite severe. I fashioned a makeshift splint. Here goes nothing!

[the splint snaps; Mustafa screams and hits the ground]