Atlantis: The Lost Empire (Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt)

Synopsis[]

As Timon and Pumbaa watch Atlantis: The Lost Empire inside the theater, Timon and Pumbaa retell the story of the movie from their own perspective.

The world's most highly qualified crew of archaeologists and explorers are led my historian Milo James Thatch, as they head deep into the mysteries of the sea. Suddenly, the expedition takes an unexpected turn when their mission must switch from exploring Atlantis to protecting it.

Now with Timon and Pumbaa joining in for the ride, Milo must find some clues to unlocking the secret of Atlantis and prove that the lost underwater city exists...

Airings[]

June 15, 2001 (Theaters)
January 29, 2002 (VHS and Disney DVD)
January 2, 2020 (Atlantis: The Lost Empire 1½ and Ghibli Fan on YouTube) (New Year's Eve)

Transcript[]

Timon and Pumbaa at the Cinema: Atlantis: The Lost Empire[]

{The video begins with the Walt Disney Pictures and Walt Disney Animation Studios logos)

"...in a single day and night of misfortune, the island of Atlantis disappeared into the depths of the sea."

- Plato, 360 B.C.

(movie begins with destruction of Atlantis)

You fool! You destroyed us all!

The wave is gaining! We have to warn Atlantis!

Too late!

Pumbaa: I gotta tell you, Timon. That opening sequence always gets me right here.

Timon: Yeah, Pumbaa. Well, enough of that. {He holds up a remote control and begins fast-forwarding through the movie}

{Camera pulls back to show Timon and Pumbaa in silhouette in a row of theater seats, Mystery Science Theater 3000-style.}

Pumbaa: Uh... Timon, what are you doing?

Timon: I'm fast-forwarding to the part where we come in!

Pumbaa: {aghast} But you can't go out of order! (Timon stops fast-forwarding)

Timon: Au contraire, my porcine pal. I've got the remote!

Pumbaa: But everyone's gonna get confused! {He grabs a second, bigger remote} We gotta go back to the beginning of the story. {He begins rewinding the movie}

Timon: We're not in the beginning of the story! {He pauses the movie on some Atlanteans getting hit by a massive wave with a monkey screech} {the movie begins fast-forwarding again}

Pumbaa: Yes, we were! The whole time. {rewinds; the film reverses on a shot of Moliere burping with a squawk of confusion}

Timon: Yeah, but they don't know that! {indicates the audience; switches the movie direction again, on a wide shot of Atlantis, with a lion-roar sound}

Pumbaa: Then why don't we tell them our story? {pauses the movie on a snarling close-up of Rourke; Timon and Pumbaa both shriek and dive under their seats}

Timon: {slowly re-emerging} Hey, I got an idea. Why don't we tell him our story?

Pumbaa: Oh, I like the sound of that.

Timon: A little backstage tour. Take 'em behind the scenes for a revealing and intimate look at the story within the story! Pumbaa: 'Cause what they don't know is how we really were there even though they didn't know we were there, you know?

Timon: Couldn't have said it better myself! {rewinds the movie again}

Pumbaa: So does this mean we're going back to the beginning?

Timon: {melodramatically} Oh, no, Pumbaa. No. We're going way back... to before the beginning.

When I Was Young...[]

Timon: Pumbaa, how can the city of Atlantis be proud? It's a city!

Pumbaa: Well I think it's because a city is what they call a group of people!

Timon: Oh sure, the people get the city of Atlantis. And what about us meerkats? Where I come from we didn't have nothin' to be proud of. Why: {clears throat; singing} When I was a young meerkat...

Pumbaa: {singing} When he was a young MEERKAT..! {blows Timon off his seatback}

Timon: {peevishly} Very nice.

Pumbaa: Thanks!

Timon: But maybe it'd be safer if I just show 'em where I came from.

Pumbaa: Oh, boy! Do we get to see where you grew up?

Timon: Yeah, Pumbaa. But it ain't pretty. {resumes} Please remain seated while the camera's in motion.

First Impressions[]

Pumbaa Sitting on the Remote[]

{Atlantis: The Lost Empire is interrupted by a trailer for The Empire Strikes Back and Pumbaa is sitting on the remote.}

Palpatine: There is a great disturbance in the force.

Darth Vader: I have felt it.

Palpatine: We have a new enemy. The son of Skywalker must not become a jedi.

(20th Century Fox and Lucasfilm logos)

Obi-Wan: This is a dangerous time for you. And you will be tempted by the Dark side of the Force.

Luke: I won't fail you. I'm not afraid.

Darth Vader: The force is with you, young Skywalker. But you are no jedi yet.

Timon: Hey, what's going on? Pumbaa, you're sitting on the remote!

Pumbaa: Huh? Oh, sorry. I thought it was a brownie.

No Fortune Cookies[]

Timon: How convenient. Enter omniscient broken engine right on cue.

Pumbaa: Well, you know what they say. When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

Timon: That's it. No more fortune cookies for you. {clicks the remote; the movie resumes}

Pumbaa Pauses Atlantis: The Lost Empire To Go Get Some More Grubs[]

Pumbaa: You mind if I pause it for a second?

Timon: Sure. Go ahead.

Pumbaa: Be right back. {Timon cracks his neck one way and then the other, grunting. As Pumbaa clatters off-screen, Timon scratches in his ear, sniffs, hums "It's a Small World After All", and casually picks his nose. Just as the sound of a popcorn popper comes to a stop, Timon pulls out a big booger, which squishes between his fingertips. He gasps as he realizes Pumbaa is coming back. He frantically looks for a tissue; seeing none, he tries to shake it off his hand, then to flick it off. Finally he wipes it on the seat just as Pumbaa returns, with a huge bag of bugs.} Okay, I got the Jumbo so we can share! {notices Timon} Were you just picking your nose?

Timon: No. I had an itch on the inside!

Look Fat[]

Pumbaa: You really think I look fat?

Timon: {sighs} Pumbaa, Pumbaa, Pumbaa. You're a pig! It's a compliment.

Pumba: Thank you.

Who in Charge Of Freeze Frames?[]

Where's The Grub?[]

Timon: {quietly} Pumbaa... where's the grub?

Pumbaa: Puhh. {opens his mouth; the ladybug staggers out, all mauled up}

Timon: {exasperated} Ohhh. You just can't help yourself, can you?

Pumbaa: Sorry.

Timon: Okay... but this time, show a little self control.

Cut To The Chase[]

Commander Rourke: 9...

Timon: (pauses) Let's cut to the chase, shall we?

Timon Crying[]

Pumbaa: Timon? Are you crying?

Timon: I'm fine! {sobbing} I...I just have something in my eye!

Pumbaa: Here, blow.

Timon: {blows his nose with his own tissue and hands it} Here, Pumbaa.

Pumbaa: Gee, thanks!

Timon: Okay. I'm better.

Running[]

Timon: What was with the running? If you can call that running.

Pumbaa: I was giving you time to catch up!

Timon: You big lug.

Timon and Pumbaa Rewind Atlantis: The Lost Empire[]

Timon: {narrating as the camera continues to truck out, ending with the silhouettes and the theater seats} Well, that's it. The big wrap-up, the happy ending, the grand finale.

Pumbaa: {whimpering} It's over already?

Timon: Well, Pumbaa. That's the thing about endings. They come at the end.

Pumbaa: {brightening} Ooh, can we watch it again?

Timon: Pumbaa, we just saw it. Maybe tomorrow.

Ma: {entering in silhouette} Hey, what are you guys doing? {gasps as she sees the screen} You didn't tell me you were watching the movie! I wanna watch too!

Timon: Ma, we just finished. Show's over.

Ma: Well, you're just gonna have to rewind it! {grabs Pumbaa's big remote and begins rewinding}

Timon: {pained} Ma!

Ma: {calling offscreen} Uncle Max! We're gonna watch the movie!

Timon: {despairing} Oh... no!

Uncle Max: {entering, carrying a box of popcorn} Hey, I brought extra butter.

Simba: {entering, walking along the seatbacks} Hey, you guys are watching the movie?

Rafiki: {swinging in on vines} Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! Any story worth telling is worth telling twice.

{The silhouette of Mickey Mouse walks in and sits down.}

Timon: What the...

{Snow White comes in, followed by the Dwarfs.}

Snow White: Oh, excuse me...

Happy: 'Scuse me.

Sneezy: 'Scuse me.

Doc: 'Scuse me.

Sleepy: 'Scuse me.

Bashful: 'Scuse me.

Grumpy: Get outta the way.

Timon: Who is this crowd?

{The Genie flies in and sits down in the middle, followed by Aladdin and Jasmine on the flying carpet; Belle, the Beast, Mrs. Potts and Chip, Lady and the Tramp, and the Hippo from "Fantasia" are also seated in this row.}

Timon: Hey, down in front!

{In another row, Goofy, the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and Donald Duck are sitting; Stitch crawls down the wall and jumps from head to head until he gets to a vacant seat.}

Stitch: Oho!

Goofy: Gawrsh!

Stitch: Aloha!

Donald Duck: {unintelligible squawking; he makes fists at Stitch}

{In still another row, Quasimodo and Pocahontas sit at opposite ends of the row; Peter Pan flies in, followed by Tinker Bell, and imitates a rooster's crow. The Lost Boys all pile in, shouting. Switch to Timon's row, where he's holding two large bodies apart to keep them from squashing him.}

Timon: Watch it! {straining} Unnnh!

{Timon's other row has Terk, Dumbo, Brer Bear, Mowgli, Baloo, the three gargoyles, and the three fairy godmothers from "Sleeping Beauty"; Terk and Victor the gargoyle squeeze together, and Timon squirts out from between them like a watermelon seed. He lands next to Pumbaa as the movie, still rewinding, nears the beginning.}

Timon: {resigned} Okay, buddy. You win.

Pumbaa: Sure you don't mind?

Timon: {sincere} Hakuna Matata. {stops rewinding and sees the Walt Disney Pictures logo again}

Pumbaa: Uh, Timon... {fades to darkness} I still don't do so well in crowds!